Looking for love

A heart being used as a symbol of love. Photo ...
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Okay, so I’m not really out there looking yet. But I hope to one day find love again.

Before you think anything, allow me to explain…if you’ve read my story so far, you know I have not been in love with my husband (whom I am separated at the mo). Never really was. So how could I want to “be in love again”?? you’d wonder…

I’m not out of this relationship yet… (I know!) But I’m still very much human. A person with feelings and needs just like everyone else. Just like you, perhaps.

I want to one day find love again.

I know what it feels like to be in love and loved. And that is one thing I do remember… is being in love!

Here’s my love story.

I was very much in love with my high school sweetheart. Scott was his name.

We did so many things together. We went everywhere together. He of course asked me to the prom and I happily accepted. He taught me so many things. Even how to drive stick in his 280.

I absolutely loved the way he made me feel. I felt very safe in his arms … and just in overall.

He protected me.

Once, when another careless driver sideswiped us, the first thing he did was make sure I was fine and asked me so, several times! When he went to join the Marines he made sure to continue to write me often (I still hold all those letters safely away) and would call at least once a week. When he got out, he went straight to my town in Connecticut… and he’d never lived outside of Florida before! Now I realize how incredibly wonderful he was. Our 3-year courtship (turn into 5 year)went so, so fast. I knew he truly cared for me. I felt elation when he was near me. Just knowing he was mine was enough to put a smile on my face every single day.

But…

…because I was naive I thought I could do better. After our split he kept coming back but I hurt him by not willing to commit. Needless to say he gave up. Especially since I let my now- husband poison me into thinking he was the one.

I look forward to the day when I can be happy, either with someone who truly cares for me and returns my love, or alone, without my husband who gives me so much grief.

I’m realistic. I’m getting old 😦 and I realize that I may never get that fantastic relationship like I had with Scott. But you know, if I don’t end up living happily ever after with someone… it’s okay too!

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