Today I had the wonderful pleasure of meeting and talking with a lawyer.
First, I’ve come to the conclusion that from what she’s telling me, my life is really nothing once I get divorced. I cannot “afford” to leave with, and take care of my daughter, therefore, why divorce?
Her main point was that I should stick it out for a few more years so I can obtain permanent alimony. That I would be better off.
So… Since I can’t possibly afford the responsibility of my life, much less my daughter’s, then I have no choice but to stick it out. And “who knows? We may just learn to have the most awesome relationship. Ha!
She brought up the fact that Broward Judges are the worse, that they won’t side with me. That it would be way too hard to get the spouse to pay my attorneys’ fees, and that I should take advantage of my being able to stay and head back to school on his dime (since I can’t afford anything on my own). For a Nursing degree, no less. May I add that I hate the thought of being anything remotely close to a nurse! And why in the world did I goto school for, then? I may not have a great job at the moment but who can graduate and land a top-paying job, in this deteriorating economy. ?? I’m happy where I’m at, I have a fantastic position with a great attorney and right now I don’t have the desire nor the energy to go back once more to studying and homework, and papers due, and midterms! Arg.
I’m not so positive about this and a few other things she brought up. For example, I happen to know the grass is NOT greener on the other side. But guess what? Sometimes it is. My own dad remarried and it was to someone who was and still is an angel, a Godsend, his other half. They are still very much in love and had a beautiful son, whom I absolutely adore having as a brother. I’m actually glad he and my mom divorced when I was ten. And not later on when kids are over 18 like this attorney is suggesting! And another thing she brought up was the fact that anyone I end up with can and may be abusive or much worse, to me as well, not to mention my daughter.
I know this!
But there are kind men out there. There are a few that I work with that are fantastic human beings. Some even divorced themselves. My daughter is my biggest priority and I would be with her all the time if I ever ended up remarrying. No way would I trust just anyone with her… Even her own father. Dads are known to be some of the worst candidates for abuse to kids. Besides, I wouldn’t just get together with just anyone!! And not only that, she’s growing up and will be able to fend for herself as well, she’s not a baby anymore when they’re most vulnerable.
Another point she brought up was the fact that my daughter is, indeed, close to hitting her teens. She assumes my daughter will turn for the worse due to the impact of divorce on her. So, how does our current relationship help her? My marriage is a joke. How is that a role model for her? We have the worst relationship possible. Lots of arguments, disrespect, etc. I brush him off every time he makes his advances at me. And I mean he tries and tries and keeps on trying… Nauseating to say the least. It’s like a rerun of Pepe Le Pew (remember the drama of French skunk cartoon on Looney Tunes over that kitten with the stripe on her back?). My husband is just like that. But more disgusting. I particularly dislike the way he is, talks, smells, and all the dumb things he says, including his idiosyncrasies. His bony hands on me caused me pain rather than comfort every time he attempted to touch me. In addition, it was never enjoyable when we were intimate, when I would give in, he always managed to please only himself.
I’m not so sure I agree with every point she brought up. How is my current relationship with my husband helpful to us? How is sticking it out supposed to help?? If I cannot “afford” to get out, I will seek another way. I will manage. I cannot just sit back and do nothing. Whom does this benefit in the long run? I want to know.