15 years now… But I’m divorcing!! :))

It’s been 15 years.

Married.

I’ve finally paid for and signed the retainer with a family lawyer.

What took me so long?

I will never quite understand what in the world makes us delay our decision-making. Can’t explain it. But its done.

It’s been a scary two years. I have enrolled in school just as the attorney suggested and have enjoyed getting the prereq’s for nursing immensely. I am working and taking care of my daughter and have been accepted to the nursing program at the local college. If I can survive that I plan on going further to obtain my Nurse Practitioner’s license. It’s a long road ahead. But you know, it can be done.

I still don’t know what the future holds, truth is noone knows! And that, my dear, can be good. I am no longer scared of the unknown. I am no longer handcuffed to this beast of a man. My freedom awaits. And yes, freedom is priceless. (Mind you, not just any freedom, freedom from bondage to a slave-driver in  my case).

 

Yesterday I watched in horror the Jacee Dugard story and her newfound freedom from that bastard who kidnapped her at just 11 years old! and I am still appalled that there are such sick individuals out in this world. Abusers, like she mentioned, always apologize to their victim (whom they treat as mere possessions), and these apologies are an attempt to make them get pity, hence turning it around and making them the victim! Classic abuser-style. My husband has always done the same thing. He can get full of rage, insult me, throw a few things or punch something nearby and then in the end, apologize & even cry and beg for my help. Ha! My help!?

Too late (I started to say in my heart) The damage is done. I trust actions, not words.

She also mentioned how she hung on to hope. Yes, H-O-P-E

The kind that can get us through the toughest times. I am going to do the same, and have hope. This gives me a positive outlook on life.

I can’t wait till this is over. Not that I will ever be completely free from this man, since he is the father of my child and I will always have to face that. But whatever, at least I will no longer be his “possession”.

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