Encouraged to Fly

Turkey Vulture flying in Miami, Florida, USA.

It’s November.

One short day after the re-election of Obama. The USA Today already states stocks plunged. Are we in for another four more years of the same? What happened to all the “Change” talk?

Change

I decided to do some “Change” myself and am changing my life. Moving in a different direction from my husband. And that’s what matters to me right now.

I’ve embarked on a journey to singlehood. A long and arduous road toward a wonderful and exciting goal: to be unmarried to the one person I married by mistake 15 years ago.

I’ve grown inpatient. I’ve cried & laughed with joy. I’ve gotten depressed, sad, regretful, and at the same time been overjoyed, ecstatic, you name it! I have grinned from ear to ear on more than one occasion.

Let me tell you, it’s a roller coaster of feelings, emotional and psychological up & down’s unlike any you’ve ever known.

But it’s worth it. Oh so worth it. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I’m apprehensive about the future but that’s what makes it exciting.

I’ve taken a break from all the classes for now, and have re-established a strong relationship with my daughter. She’s a young lady now. I’m really, really proud of her.

I hope and pray one day she understands what I have had to do.

She has had an intact, albeit unsteady, family structure up until now. She grew up with her mom AND dad under ONE roof for 12 years. I just cannot pretend any more. And having to deal with someone and hide all the disliking is something I no longer wish to do. No more negative anything in my life. If something or someone in my life is negatively affecting me, it’s out. O-U-T.

Having the talk with him about my intention to divorce him and break free of his grasp was nerve-wracking to say the least. I was sick to my stomach for about a month. I even developed these mouth sores on my gums that hurt so much I couldn’t eat right for a week and caught the flu for three.

The stress was beyond words.

Getting it over with was just priceless though. I made sure my child was safe with my mom (with a plan B in place). I was calm and collected before talking. Caught him at a mellow time (6:30 in the morning worked). Stated my intentions and left the house so he could absorb it.

We’ve been trying to be congenial ever since. He’s tried a few of his usual manipulative tactics, such as being overly nice, cleaning up, offering to do things he always complained about, etc.

But… It’s all an act. I could never fall for that again.

I’m encouraged to fly and be free. I look forward to my freedom to do as I please. Attend all the activities I want with whomever I wish. Enjoy anything and everything without a second thought of whether I’ll have to be reprimanded later.

It’s such a beautiful thing.

life

Advertisements

Leave a Reply. Thanks a mill!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s