I think we are sometimes too quick to decide.
Especially when it comes to our decisions in life.
A lot of the time we find that we make hasty decisions without putting much thought into it; without considering the consequences.
When we’re young we plan our escapades, our parties and our college choices with plenty of detail. When we consider changing jobs we research the market, salaries, location, etc. and it is only then that we jump in. Or as we plan to purchase a home, we do even more research and look thoroughly at each comparable, perhaps even hire an attorney to make darn sure our contract spells everything out correctly.
Why then do we just make a decision to marry?, a decision that should take quite a bit of time, without giving it much thought, therefore failing to consider who we really are marrying.
Do we even have enough sense to picture what the relationship will look like 20 years later?
Take Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher’ for example, they have a big 16-year age difference, 50 & 34 respectively. Was it destined to fail? I’d say it was doomed because frankly what 45-year-old guy wants to be with a 60-year old? Or at 55 & 70s?? Eek!
Not just age difference, but are attitudes something we should also be looking at? I would think that if someone isn’t happy at the beginning, by golly, their future would tend to look just as bleak.
How do we recognize the signs? I think we should put all emotions aside and look at things from an outsiders point of view.
I think it’s smart to see things that way. Things seldom will change for the better when the bad has started from the get-go.
Negative folks stay pessimistic.
Slobs remain slobs! (or worse, may become hoarders).
Early angry discussions almost always escalate to disputes and outbursts, maybe even domestic violence including verbal, psychological, emotional, physical and/or sexual (intimate) abuse.
Small signs of jealousy from the start that trickle in from time to time can turn into a deluge of demands and accusations from which is tough to get away from.
Occasional bad habits, such as a smoking or drinking binges, can lead to a life next to a druggie/drunk and everything that comes attached to the vice.
So, I’ve learned my lesson. No jumping into a relationship that starts out bad. I’m watching out for the signs that say this will be an issue later.
Everyone should take their time to decide.
It’s a lifelong decision after all.