Dating after Divorce

I had mixed feelings about dating too soon after my divorce.

I remember making a few rules including to wait a long few months before introducing my daughter to the one guy I would be dating (but only if seriously).

On Oprah the other day they talked about this subject and when should kids be introduced to the new guy.

All rules be damned I think my kid and my guy met 1.5 months after our first meet. LOL! Why so fast? I just had a feeling it was right.

It “felt right”.

And you know… their meeting… it wasn’t so bad! It was great actually. We made a “date” which consisted of simply dinner and a movie. And boy was that a great time. We met up with him at Johnny Rockets, the wonderful diner with the big shakes, enjoyed a burger while waiting for the movie to start, and went on to see Godzilla on 3D.

All together.

Like a family.

And oh my, what a fantastic time! They hit it off so great, I actually saw her smile great big smiles.

And that is big.

After my divorce last year I was concerned because her once upbeat demeanor changed to sad — or I should say neutral. Hardly any smiling, no laughing, no real enjoyment. And frankly I was growing concerned. I knew the divorce would be so tough as it was for me when I was about her age.

But I had hope.

I’ll tell ya though, I had my share of doubts. After getting out of my marriage in which I was so darn unhappy, I was really doubtful that anything good could be out there. I decided to start dating in order to get out of that funk. My world was so depressing that I started contemplating getting back with my ex. MY EX!!!! I can’t even imagine returning to that vomit much like a dog would. Yes, that is what I relate it to. The emotional scars from his verbal & psychological abuse are and will always be there. No way in hell would I jump into that again. Just shoot me if I do.

Meeting my now fiancé has changed so many things. There is laughter now in my life and in my daughter’s life too. We are happy to be with someone who doesn’t drag us down, is willing to do spontaneous things and really enjoys life in a way that is contagious. And this is daily. And, no, he is not on drugs.

So for those that are giving up hope, I say: don’t.

There’s someone for everyone. Myself included. And like he once said to me: “What do you have to lose??” As I hesitated when we had a talk about being exclusive (yikes!).

I’ve gained a lot getting to know him, at last a normal human being. I’ve never felt more beautiful, more wanted, more excited, or more passionate since I can’t remember when. I’ll admit it hasn’t been smooth sailing as we have had to adjust two completely grown-up lives… but the ride has been fun. He asked me to marry him. And of course, I said yes (but with a huge disclaimer).

And my dating days are gone.




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