Living in a Land of Divorcees

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Everywhere you look you’re bound to find someone who is divorced or divorcing (or knows someone who is). Sad isn’t it?

Well, sometimes it doesn’t have to be.

I often wondered if it would ever happen to me since my parents divorced while I was young, I really hoped I wouldn’t go down that road. But now that I’ve taken it, I’m rethinking those thoughts. My only options were either to stay in the marriage status quo or jump ship. I chose the latter because, frankly, I just could not picture myself living with this egocentric individual in a looming empty nest. We really didn’t get along nor had much in common from the start. Depressed and dissatisfied, I had to file for divorce. Should I have waited till my child was all grown up? That’s up for debate. Everyone has their opinions as well as many reasons for throwing in the towel. But the more I encounter others who’ve had to make that tough decision, the more I’ve grown to respect them because I know just how tough it is to decide. Why live unhappily ever after? Yes, easy to say. But not so easy to do. So many things to consider and ultimately decide on… Yet it never seems like the right choice. It’s like a roller-coaster ride that never quite seems to end!

“Divorce is a great loss and a crisis that has a huge impact on the lives of everyone involved.” ~PowerToChange.com

I can’t help noticing the broken home ripple effect. And children, I’ve noticed, tend to hide things so well. And because I went through it myself, I often see the very signs on others’ kids. The occasional withdrawn child, the forced smiles, the sadness in their eyes. That’s when I have a twinge of regret.

Could our marriage have been fixed? Maybe. Should we have communicated better? I reckon our communication was plain awful. Should we have waited to see if we were really compatible before deciding on marriage? Perhaps. So many “could’ve” and “should’ve”s!

But, you know, nothing ever goes the way we planned. Life takes it’s own course. But I’m comforted in knowing that everything that has a beginning must come to an end sometime and although it’s just sooner rather than later for some of us, we can only do the best we can.

Like the saying goes: if at first you don’t succeed, try try again.

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2 thoughts on “Living in a Land of Divorcees”

  1. Thank you for shraing your thoughts. I have been divorced and it is never easy i think. I have no easy answers and I will try not offer you any platitudes, except this, which I hope is not a platitude, that we are all the product of the past and I am not convinced that we all make ‘free choices”. The purpose of examing the past is to find the grounds for forgiveness and compassion. Whatever you do I hope that you can approach you situation in that way- and that includes forgiveness and compassion for your self. Blame is never useful. Best wishes for the future.

    Liked by 1 person

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